Parenthood

The Ideal Mother’s Day Gift Guide

There’s plenty of blog posts out there with links and suggestions to particular products to buy your Mum this Mother’s Day. But here’s what I like to call ‘The Ideal Mother’s Day Gift Guide’. These items are all priceless (and let’s be frank, a mother fucking miracle) proverbial gifts I would love my family to give me just for the day.

My Mother’s Day Wish List

  1. A sleep in (top of every single mother’s wish list!)
  2. A day of kid’s being ok with being handed whatever coloured cup I damn well please
  3. No pooey nappies for 24 hours
  4. A compromise to the above, just one poo in one nappy – rather than spreading it across four nappies
  5. No beds to change/wash/remake because of a nappy leak the night before
  6. Zero arguments/resistance at all meal times
  7. All food ingested from the plate, rather than stashed somewhere for me to find three days later/stop a kid eating three days later
  8. Actually help pack away ALL toys rather than putting one block in the box and thinking that’s enough
  9. When I say ‘Yep, in just a minute’ the child accepts and patiently waits a minute (or completely forgets)
  10. If we go shopping, let’s avoid every one else learning the kid’s names as I yell for them to ‘COME BACK RIGHT NOW!’
  11. For the outfit the kid’s are dressed in the morning to still be on at the end of the day (and even clean enough to be re-worn!)
  12. To finish a bedtime story without 10 questions per page
  13. Only toys are played with and things like moisturiser, Sudocrem or textas stay out of the kids ninja reach
  14. Not to receive an injury from a left out toy
  15. No fights when one kid touches something the other one is holding/was holding/was about to hold

Oh it’s fun to dream but just one day of this would be enough! I think life would get pretty boring if my days weren’t spiced up with googling how to clean cream out of suede-look material, or refereeing who’s turn it was to hold the purple ribbon. The hugs, kisses and being told I’m the best Mum are more than I could ever ask for and that’s all I need. Although I would really like a tea bag in a handmade card!

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