Before we discuss the day I found out I was pregnant and those two little lines appeared, lets go back a little.
We were married in November 2017, and decided to wait until after our honeymoon the following March before we would begin trying.
I kept talking to people saying ‘if all goes to plan, we’ll have a January 2019 baby’. I was naïve to think it would happen the moment we decided we wanted it to.
Turns out, I was naïve to think it would happen within even a couple of months of us deciding we wanted it to.
This is definitely not a story of infertility. There are women who have waited, or may still be waiting, years for their baby. Their heartbreak is incomparable to anything I felt. And my heart is with them. Because I had a teeny, tiny glimpse of the waiting and it wasn’t nice.
Each month, there was another due date in my mind, slowly working my way through the calendar year. Each time, I would research what starsign it might be. Each time, I would create a possible birth-date window. And then I would get a negative test. And then I would set my sights on the next window to try again. And the cycle would repeat. I think I spent at least $100+ on tests! I tried to go to a different pharmacy each time so they didn’t begin to recognise me.
Our first child took 12 months of trying, but my hubby was Fly-In Fly-Out, so there was only a couple months of him being home at the right time.
Our second child only took three months, but it was after a miscarriage and a surgery I had which would’ve made me super fertile.
So it was hard to know what to expect this time round.
Each month, I’d pee on those little sticks and stare and stare at the window, hoping to see the hint of a line. I’d leave it out and check it every 10 minutes, just in case something appeared. You’re meant to discard a test after 10 mins, as any change in results wouldn’t be accurate. But I would spend all day checking on it and staring until my eyes hurt, thinking I could see a line when there wasn’t one.
After 7 months, there I was, smack in the middle of that frustrating two week wait, when you could be pregnant but can’t get any definite answers. It’s a weird limbo. It was ticking down to the expected due date of my period, when I could finally get an answer. That one date carries so much meaning! As usual, the impatience kicked in and I stocked up on bulk packs of pregnancy tests. I had already googled ‘what is the earliest you can do a pregnancy test’. According to the pregnancy test boxes, up to 6 days before your period due date is possible, but the chances of getting a positive only hit the 98% mark from 4 days before your expected period. I had 6 days to go.
So, I waited until my first pee of the morning and peed on that little stick. At first, it looked negative. And then I saw it. The faintest line. My phone camera couldn’t even pick it up. But I saw it, which meant some tiny bit of pregnancy hormone had been detected to trigger the dye of the line.
I messaged a very close of friend of mine for her opinion, once I was able to capture the line and draw little arrows on the picture to point to it. She saw it! I think anyone who hadn’t looked at a pregnancy test before would’ve said it was negative.
I took a digital test, and it said negative. So I went back to shops, stocked up on some more tests and tried a different brand. There was DEFINITELY a line this time!
The next morning, I tried again and the line had gotten darker. So, I declared it.
I’m pregnant with our THIRD baby!