The first rule of Mum Club is
you all drink wine you provide a space of zero judgement. And then wine. I owe a lot of my sanity remaining intact to my Mum Club. When Jaxxi was born in 2014, Steve and I were the only ones out of our friends to have a kid. Then, I have no idea what happened, but we all started busting out babies, to the point of going through a 3 year stint where there was ALWAYS one of us pregnant! It was like Oprah started hanging out with us. YOU GET A BABY! YOU GET A BABY! YOU ALL GET A BABY! Now, in 2018, there will be ELEVEN kids (we have two friends cooking their little ones up right now).
We can get together and freely vent about how big of a butthole our kid has been this week without seeming like a horrible person. It’s easy to whinge and complain about how tough Mum Life has felt recently without receiving any judgement whatsoever. Mum Club is important because these ladies will be the voices who understand and agree with the shit you put up with, but also remind you how amazing you are and be a source of empowerment. I can’t begin to tell you the amount of times we have cried or consoled someone who has cried, because a baby won’t sleep, or breastfeeding isn’t going to plan, or one of the kids hurt themselves. Having a place where you can just talk about your kids constantly, including intense discussions about what colour poo your kid has and what it means, is a weight off! These conversations NEED to happen. We NEED to get these things out. And Mum Club is the place to do it, because we’re all in the same boat and we actually want to hear about it.
Source of Knowledge
When I first had Jaxxi, I had Google and my Mum. NOW I have my Mum Club to direct all my questions too. So once I had Jagger and I had forgotten so many things about newborn life, I was constantly texting the girls to ask ‘what did you do?’ or ‘what did you use?’ or just to see if they felt the same way I did like ‘Did you feel like your vagina was about to fall off?’ (for the record…Yes. Everyone feels like that after giving birth). Half the time, we’re all at a fucking loss at what to do, so we will pool our experiences and form a plan together. It’s also pretty nice when you realize you’re not the only one with no clue.
Extra Set Of Hands
‘Here, can you hold her for a minute?’ is a regular saying heard among Mum Club. Having a Mum Club means you’re automatically surrounded by trustworthy and fully capable people to help you juggle your motherhood responsibilities. Everyone jumps in to help without even being asked. We’re often changing someone else’s kid’s nappy or putting out an APB on their dummy or drink. We even take over trying to get a stubborn-super-sleepy baby, who is in denial of being sleepy, to bed when their Mum has been at it for 45 minutes. And, if one of the kids loses their precious Lambie, you can bet your bottom dollar Mum Club will assemble and create a search party, refusing to stop until the toy has been found safe and well.
We Have Fun Together
My little Mum Club used to call ourselves ‘Fit Mums’ and then edited it to ‘Fat Mums’ because some of us were pregnant, and we would go to the beach or park and work out together with our growing tribe of kids in tow. I was not the best at this and quite often used my kids as an excuse to skip out on the last round of burpies because they ‘needed’ me. Actually, a few of us used this strategy. Let’s be honest, it was plain as day. But if we go back to the very first line on this post, you’ll remember the first rule of non-judgy Mum Club.
It’s also great to handball the kids to the men as we head out for some fun on the town. Of course, we’re all home by 9pm…ok fine. You got me. More like 7pm. But until then, we’ll have the best time and knock back a few champers. When it’s time to leave, no one calls anyone a party-pooper because we completely understand our time is limited. But we put in an effort as solid as Tom Hardy’s abs until then. On the rare occasions where we really go wild, we’ll be messaging support to one another the next day in the form of discussing which hangover food we should get, as we suffer together and chant ‘never drinking again’.
All Mum Club’s run on these principles. It’s a place where we don’t take ourselves seriously. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to complain. Raising kids is hard but the support of a Mum Club makes it easier.
My Mum Club wasn’t always as big as it now, but with each new baby added to the group we said ‘You CAN sit with us…just bring your wine’ and THAT is what makes Mum Club so important.
This post is dedicated to my ladies; Kelly, Katie, Charlotte, Jade, Sarah, Tash & Claire. I love you and your offspring to bits. Here’s to our many years ahead together, trying to keep our shit intact.